Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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