well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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