I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
