he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
