Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize