You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
