I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
