i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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