Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just come out here and I will go home with you...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
