it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was like getting head from an anaconda
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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