one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
