i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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