two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
