So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
