Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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