so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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