the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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