Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
