i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
