Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
