Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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