don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
