And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
