Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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