Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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