After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
