Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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