Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
