Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
