exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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