I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I intend to get homeless drunk
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
