That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it glows. i had to have it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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