His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
