nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize