Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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