Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
