I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize