She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
