I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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