sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want to make out with him forever
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
