im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
