Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My ass is underappreciated
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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