I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
