Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize