Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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