Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
