i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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