does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think i peed on brittanys purse
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
