if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize