Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
