All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
