Will you blow on my dice?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Farmville is her only friend.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
