I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
