Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
