Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love having hate sex.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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