By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How naked do you want me to be?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
