Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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