Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
