Your tits are I can't wait for
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
