Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
