i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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