You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
