chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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