is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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