whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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