i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
