he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
