How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
