just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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