Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
