youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize