What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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