I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
do herpes really smell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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