he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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